12 Tips for Comforting Someone with Anxiety During Physical Distancing

We are all feeling a little more stressed out than usual, a little anxious and even a little depressed right now. For some this has all been incredibly difficult. You have probably noticed that some of your friends could use some support and you’re wondering what you can do to help them. Feelings of anxiety and depression are not unusual and are entirely manageable. Having a supportive friend can be life-changing. 

1. Be a Good Listener

Everyone wants to be heard. Sometimes we just need to express ourselves or get something off our chest. Listen to what your friend has to say compassionately and without judgement. 

2. Validate their Experience

Don’t minimize their depression or anxiety. Understand that their feelings are real and acknowledge that you understand they are struggling right now. Let them know you want to be supportive. 

3. Stay Connected

We are all feeling a little more isolated right now. Reach out by phone, text, or video call and let your friend know you are available. Research has repeatedly shown that human connection is critical to our mental health. 

4. Help Your Friend Reframe Their Thoughts

If you notice that your friend tends to focus on the negative or make comments that seem exaggerated, see if you can reflect back a more balanced perspective. If your friend says, “This quarantine is never going to end. I will never feel normal again,” you might consider saying something like, “Yes, it’s hard right now, but this will get better.” 

5. Model a Healthy Perspective

We are all feeling the strain of our circumstances right now. We can’t control everything that happens in the world around us, but we can control our own behavior and our reactions. Modeling a positive outlook and healthy behavior can be contagious to those around us. 

6. Avoid Platitudes

It’s important to steer our focus from the negative to the positive, but platitudes risk making us feel worse. Avoid cliches and instead speak honestly. 

7. Plan Group Socials

Take advantage of technology and plan a social event with a group. There are a variety of apps available to host trivia nights or play group games. Sign up for a virtual yoga or exercise class together. You can watch tv shows and movies simultaneously and chat during the show. Sharing a laugh or a comment during a show reminds us that we are still connected. 

8. Self-Care

The research is clear that proper nutrition, exercise, and good sleep have an amazing impact on our mental health. Motivate each other to incorporate some movement into each day and eat healthier together, but from a distance. 

9. Drop off a surprise or treat

This can be a meal, a good book, or even just a friendly note in the mailbox. 

10. Fresh Air

Motivate each other to get fresh air whenever possible. If you can take a walk in a location with enough distance from others, you can schedule a time to chat with your friend by phone while you both enjoy fresh air and sunshine. 

11. Remember to Breathe

If your friend is feeling particularly anxious, remind them of the benefits of diaphragmatic “belly” breathing. When you take a deep breath, you want to notice expansion in your belly, not your upper body. If your shoulders rise or your chest lifts during a deep breath, you will not feel the relaxation benefits. 

12. Know when to ask for help

If you’re worried that your friend needs more help than a friend can give, recommend talking with a professional. May is Mental Health Awareness Month with the goal of ending the stigma associated with reaching out for help.

Read more about therapy for anxiety below.